Monday, July 21, 2008

Wardrobes of the Malfunctioning Variety

I heard a blurb on the radio this morning about the fine against CBS for our brief peek at Miss Jackson -If -You're -Nasty's pierced niblet, which you can read here.
Or you can skip that and just enjoy this.

I remember that Super Bowl, which is odd, because since I care precious little about sports, most of them run together, punctuated here and there with a vague interest in the commercials. That year we'd been invited to a party given by a man Himself had done a story about, when he came home from Qatar; he was a military strategist of some stripe. At any rate, he had a large, lovely family, and we were invited to his welcome home party, and subsequent Super Bowl party. We all sat in the living room in front of the big screen TV. Most of us weren't really paying attention to the halftime show; it was an opportunity to reload our plates and refill our glasses. Most of us were commenting on the questionable taste of what we were seeing, when.....

IT happened.

I don't know how you remember this, but this was no malfunction. I remember Justin reaching up, grabbing himself a big ol' handful of bustier, and yanking it off. Also, on a big screen TV, this was no 'fleeting glimpse'. There it was in all its glory, with that weird metal thing in it. Then they both sort of stood there with 'Oh S***' expressions on their faces. Like, "Perhaps, just perhaps, we went a bit too far."

Silence in the room.

"Did I just see what I think I saw?" giggled a lady in the back, who'd had a lot of zinfandel.

"Well, tell is what you saw, and we'll tell you if you saw it!" this, from a man who, like the rest of the men in the room, DEFINITELY DID see what she thought she saw.

Laughter. And then a premonition that a poo-storm would be unleashed over it.

Nobody remembers that Josh Groban sang at the beginning, or that it was quite nice.

I'm reminded of 'The People vs. Larry Flynt'. There is a scene in the movie where he is making a speech to a group of people; using a series of slides he shows images of war, of violence, of death, and he asks a compelling question-- what is obscene? I am not making a case for pornography, but the point is well taken. When you consider all of the things that are depicted on television, the murders, the perversion, human beings using one another in every conceivable way (and that's just on Fox News), why did we get ourselves in a sanction and fines dither over a woman's breast? Yeah, it was kind of creepy. But was it worth years of legal wrangling. or were we locking the barn after the horse was already stolen?

Feh, that's enough serious for me today. Soon I'll tell you about my unexpected but undoubtedly generous contribution to the well being of the citizens of Corning, New York. (Hint: 54 in a 30.)

Please visit Humor Blogs, where all the nipples are covered. (I hope.)


Jonny's Mommy said...

Do you remember where you were when the boob was revealed?

That will be the question of our generation...not "Where were you when JFK was shot."

For the record I was in the sky somewhere, not even a twinkle in a eye, when JFK was shot.

As for the boob revelation, I was, at (of all places) grandpa's with the Hubby and sitting on the couch, in silence (because no one talks there) I wasn't paying much attention, had just turned my head, but whipped it back because I saw the motion of Justin's hand.

"Uh...Warren? Did you see that?"

"Huh? What?"

Nope, he hadn't in fact seen it. Until the following day when it was shown constantly on ALL DAY LOOOOONG. *sigh* Those were the days.

Anonymous said...

I saw the "event" live watching the game with two friends. The first predicted a government over reaction, the second said it would be thrown out of court, and I claimed that I didn't know.

Collectively, we were all correct.

Diesel said...

That was the one year that I kind of regretted the fact that I never watched the Superbowl.