Friday, June 12, 2009

Flags of Our Fathers

I found myself having a little fit this week.

First, I went to the post office right at the end of the day and had a chat with someone while she was taking the flag down. She balled it up and casually shoved it into a mail bin. When I threatened to write about this, Himself pooh-poohed it and I decided I was just hot and gritty and cranky.
Yesterday I drove past this place. I do so about once a week. (Hey, if you have five million kicking around, its for sale.) Its closed, and its right on Route 81. Just one of those uninteresting landmarks that tells me "You are bound for Syracuse and points north. Again. Stay awake. Stay awake! Change the station! The rest stop is coming up! Stop picking that!"
Yeah, I spend a lot of time by myself.
While I realize that property management is usually limited to basic security, cutting the grass, and generally keeping the place presentable, there is something else that needs done there. Feebly waving in front of this building are two flags. Really, 1 and 2/3 flags.
The American flag is shredded. Absolutely shredded and sad and defeated looking. Its Canadian brother is missing the non-flagpole side red field, giving it the disconcerting appearance of a Polish flag with a maple leaf on it. Someone needs to take them down and dispose of them respectfully.
So if there are any patriots in Tully, New York.....all you'd probably need is a flashlight. Just sayin'. I thought about emailing the realtor and making that request but every mental paragraph I composed sounded like it was written by a patriotic but peevish old lady with twenty cats and a house full of dolls.

Speaking of which.

Another blogger's post about irrational fears got me thinking about things that I wouldn't exactly classify as a 'fear', just an extreme discomfort bordering on paranoia, which everyone knows is way better and not nearly as crazy.

I hate dolls.
Once a week I survey a house that has That Room. The one with the shelves around three walls lined with dolls. These kind.

Usually they are staring vacantly from yellowing and dusty plastic boxes, but it doesn't minimize the sense that they are watching me. There are few things I've ever encountered in this world (ostensibly "occult" items included) that would make me feel better to heap up in a large pile, douse with fuel, and set ablaze. Though the mental image of a pile of creepy dolls slowly deforming in the heat will probably haunt me for weeks.

I've been a little stressed lately and haven't posted much, but I'm sure the next week will yield some pleasant rumination on the nature of humankind, what with the Laurel Festival about to land on us like a sumo wrestler. Once again I will engage in my favorite festival activity; parking in people who park in the firehouse lot right in front of the sign that says PARKING FOR FIRE/EMS ONLY. Hope you were planning on staying awhile, Jersey plates.

I think I need some aromatherapy.


Jenn Thorson said...

You know, Kathy's sunflower post inspired my fear post today too-- what's up with that? :)

I can understand not liking the dolls-- especially en masse. One might be easy enough to deal with, but when you have the glass-eyed hoardes, it starts to leave an impression. :)

Shieldmaiden96 said...

More than two and you can't tell me they aren't planning something.

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

You forgot to add the bit about the lady who said she has boxes for all those dolls and how they were like cardboard little coffins. :-) I loved that part. And the dolls creep me out too. Seriously.....that and those dang cutouts of large women's butts in front yards.

Unfinished Rambler said...

Almost a month since your last post, woman. Too damned long between posts. Get cracking already (whip cracking sound). ;)

But really, hon, you need to post more often. You're too funny not to post more often.

Your loving husband

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I DID forget about that. Tell me Ashton Drake couldn't just as easily be a company that makes caskets. *shudder*

Tricia said...

My mother-in-law loves creepy dolls and has them everywhere. She bought all those Marie Osmand dolls from QVC and has them EVERYWHERE - she has a creepy harlequin clown doll that is in the room we stay in when we stay with her. I cover it with a blanket.

I too hate dolls.

Jeff said...

I'm with you on both the flag respect thing AND the creepy dolls thing. Although I must admit that my GI Joe never bothered me too much. Nor did my sister's Barbie now that I think of it.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

A couple of dolls in a little girl's room is okay, but beyond that . . .

I'm with you on the flags. Show some respect.