Thursday, June 18, 2009

Albany Axes Adverbs


State budget cuts target unnecessary parts of speech

ALBANY-- Governor David Patterson announced today that the New York Department of Transportation's rest area signage will undergo some changes in an effort to save state funds.

'What we're trying to do is trim wherever we can, without depriving New Yorkers the services they have come to rely on," the Governor announced in a press conference Thursday. "That extra '-ly' utilizes resources that could better be spent elsewhere, and given the amount of text messaging that takes place on our highways, I doubt anyone will notice a few shortened words."

The signs, located at several Route 17 rest stops east of Binghamton, will be canted slightly to one side so no one will be confused by their non-diagonal arrow, which is exactly the same as the arrow on the 'Park Parallel' signs found elsewhere on the lot.

A newly formed committee, the New York State Grammar Initiative, will also be looking at gerunds, dangling participles, and misplaced modifiers in coming months.


Patterson went on to remind motorists that texting while driving, like most things in the State of New York, is a punishable offense.

7 comments:

Tricia said...

Only in NY. :)

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

You wrote this write...er...right? So, can you come right...er...write for us?

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Um, no. Among the shortlist of things I am unwilling to do (along with drive a septic tank truck or herd rattlesnakes) is listed WRITE FOR A NEWSPAPER. Fairly close to the top.

Casey said...

That is the strangest budget cut I've ever heard of.

Jocelyn said...

I just snorted so hard I had to wipe my screen--thanks to your title plus picture...that's actually all it took.

Michael d said...

brilliant, Onionesque even

rozydesouza said...

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