Friday, September 25, 2009

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Behind

Hope springs eternal.

I'm gearing up for another run at self-improvement. Himself and I had a rather successful stretch of do-goodness around 2002-2004. Both of us got more active, pushed some boundaries. He pushed more than me, but both of us have opened the door to those pesky houseguests, Sloth and Gravity, who flopped on the couch and texted their friends Convenience Foods and the ever-spiritual Dances With Cheese to come over, on account of there was a party and the hosts had an open door policy. Dances With Cheese brought good crackers and a big bottle of cheap wine.

Its time to throw on the lights, and say, with hands on hips, "Just what the hell is going on here?" while turning off the stereo. Here's why:

As of this moment, 40 is 192 days and 21 hours away.
Himself is having the acid issues.
When I take better care of myself I'm not so crabby.
I have a COMPLETE set of Mc Donald's Coke glasses and don't need any more.

Oh, there's lots more, like the noise my knees make, and the fact that my achilles tendons hurt most of the time, or the fact that it seems like all the clothes they make in my size are for women about to board the bus to Salamanca with a gold leopard-print tote bag.

Anyhoodle, I had some fun picking a set of goals. I already have the tools in place to eat better and exercise more, blah blah blah, but I posted over here explaining where my standards came from. To be clear: I am NOT PLANNING to join the Army. I just decided to ask the question, hey, they are taking 40 year olds; could I make the cut?

Will there be hilarity? Doubtless. Will I share? Absolutely.

8 comments:

Jeff said...

Good for you. And good luck! I'll be here to cheer for you... AND laugh for you. ;-)

Suzy said...

i just bought a pie yesterday at Costco. Their famous HUGE pumpkin pie for 5.99. It's already half gone and I live alone. Oh well.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

As I stagger through my own journey of failures and a few successes....I join you in expectations of ...u....failures and successes and "absurdity."

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

Good luck to you both. You'd think my new-found singlehood would inspire me. So far it inspires me to feed my emotions by stuffing myself.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

You gotta heal before you can bloom again....it'll come.

Kathy said...

Sister, I've been there. Still there. Fear I'll always be there. I'm cheering you on from the sidelines. Now where's that cannoli?

Debor said...

I just found your blog and I laughed out loud reading it! Especially the Salamanca comment - I'm from western New York. You have a new fan and I'll keep reading!

karim said...

An insightfull post. Will definitely help.

Thanks,
Karim - Positive thinking