Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Surviving the New Economy


Tuesday, 5:40am. I'm staring at the ceiling fan. I'm rather fond of this fan, especially in the stuffy summer months, and its just as well, because I've spent a lot of time inspecting it. There's a bit of dust on the blades I should climb up and remove before we start using it.

Lately, every night begins and ends the same way. I fall asleep like I haven't slept in days. I sleep soundly for better than half the night.

I wake up in clutching, mindless, irrational terror. Scarcity, "what ifs", work angst, generalized anxiety, mental accounting of the vague and terrifying variety.

I'm kinda tired of it. Here's a list of nice things that happened today.

1. I woke up with my face snuggled in a warm cat. When I lifted my head he put his paw on it as if to say, no no, sleep, and planted a kiss on my forehead.

2. I had a cup of tea.

3. The sun is out.

4. I actually laughed at work.

5. I like my socks. Good socks today.

Yeah, I'm hanging on by my fingernails. Underneath me is my old, currently broken down car, a career I don't want, a future that is murky and uncertain, and an impending 39th birthday.

But hey. There's also this. And this is about the only thing that's keeping me from hiding under a blanket with a bag of cookies and the cat.

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or
drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important
than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of
the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your
heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who
of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was
dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,
which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more
clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we
eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans
run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need
them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these
things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about
tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.


Tricia said...

Thanks I needed this today.

unfinishedrambler said...

I love you, hon, but this wasn't very funny, you know? I don't think I can in get good conscience smiley this one. Sorry.

HeatherPride said...

Wow. Amazing scripture - it never ceases to amaze me how relevant the Bible still is and always will be. Thanks. I needed to read this today too.

Jonny's Mommy said...

Hang in there, Kim. I can very much relate to this post and boy did I need to be reminded of that verse. I could have almost written this post, but not as well as you did.

BTW, Ignore your husband -- well, don't. He'll make you laugh, even if he is an idiot.

sambar42 said...

Very nice.
I have finally figured out where this bit comes from.

I was quite serious about the verses being nice.

Kathy said...

I consider it divine intervention that I read this only tonight, after a day where I shopped for clothing to wear when I come meet you and your husband next month. I stood in front of the mirror and thought to myself "I hope I look OK and that they like me."

So now I'm gonna go ahead and show up in my pajamas, OK?

Shieldmaiden96 said...

Jammies are fine. I'd also accept sweatpants. Trust me. I've shopped for patches at Walmart twice in a month. Patches are awesome.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I am not registered here, but you might better know me as Capt 723 on the FFN. The verse you quoted is one of my favorite verses. We are missing you over on the Nation.

Take care.

Jocelyn said...

Oh, poopsie. The lack of sleep would make anyone turn to God.

I'm so glad you have scripture and good socks to get you through.

Do hang in there.

Diesel said...

Hang in there. When's your b-day? I'll be 39 soon as well. Of course, I'm male so I'm getting more distinguished. On account of it would be hard to be less distinguished.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I actually turned 39 on April 6th, and celebrated my birthday by funnelling all of my birthday money to federal, state, and municipal tax authorities. So it was sort of Irish-awesome. Like stepping in dog poop in your bad shoes.

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