Tuesday, September 02, 2008

One More Step Toward Bleak Midwinter


Summer's over. I know we will probably have a few more weeks of summerlike niceness, but when the months end in 'ber', for me, the summer is over. I took a break from the computer this weekend to try to suck up as much blue sky and fresh air as I could hold, in some vain hope that when I get to that dead gray middle of February when I want to run screaming through town wearing a flannel nightgown and slippers brandishing a tire iron, I can reach down inside and clothe myself in sanity-preserving sunshine and daisies.

So I signed up to sell raffle tickets. Our fire department is selling tickets for a chance to win either a 4-wheeler or a Harley, (winner's choice), and we set up a table in the middle of town to catch some of the weekend visitors. I had grossly underestimated the entertainment value of sitting in a folding chair on a streetcorner in my town. I recommend it, if you ever get the chance.

Not my town, though. Do it in yours.

Some observations:

If I am sitting at a card table, wearing a t-shirt that indicates my membership in the fire department of the town we happen to be in, please believe there is an excellent chance I LIVE HERE and that I would not mislead you regarding the parking meters. I'm not telling you that you don't have to put change in them on a holiday just to mess with you. So stop scrambling through your car looking for dimes. No, really. Stop.

The exact time the leaves will change is not SCHEDULED. It sort of happens, based on a variety of environmental factors. I can't really tell you when it will happen. Its like a nature thing.

Two big motorcycles came up the avenue and swung at an angle into a parking space together. The riders got off, took off jackets and helmets and they were GRANDMAS. Grandmas with big purses and orthopedic sneakers who strolled off down the sidewalk, shopping. Awesome.

Apparently, if you live in New Jersey you are issued at least four 4-wheelers. Every single one has a teeny license plate. Having lived in an area where the police have to keep order in the DMV because its so frustrating and crowded, I realize that must suck. Thanks for coming.

A man came out of the shoe store and asked if he could sit on the 4-wheeler. "Sure, " I said. He gracefully swung a leg over the seat and sat there for several minutes, his hands on the handlebars, gazing at a point far down the sidewalk. I expected him to start making engine noises, but he said nothing. After a few more minutes, he got up without a word and went back in the store. His wife came out and explained that he was buying a new pair of motorcycle boots and wanted to see how they felt on the footrests. He had an accident a year ago, and broke both legs. "Its a year next week....I guess he's getting back on," she said, looking both proud of him and slightly afraid.

The last hour or so was a bit dull; tiny dogs, RVs, a giant truckload of string beans, a few people complaining that none of the restaurants were open. Now I'm back, surveying giant houses that smell like a new deck of cards and navigating the ocean of paperwork that is my weekday life.
I leave you with this for your pseudo-Monday:

PS- The 'Flight of the Conchords' video is dedicated to whoever in Auckland, New Zealand was reading my blog this weekend. Howdy to my Brisbane, Australia visitor too! Feel free to give us a shout when you visit!


Jonny's Mommy said...

OK. So cool...the featured humor blog on your page when I logged on was your husbands.

Wow. So cool.

Anyhow...I liked this post. It reminded me so much of around here on a holiday. And I'm sorry...but the man who broke his legs? I guess it is good to get back on the horse so to speak, but maybe...just maybe....that was a sign not to ride the "horse" ever, ever again.

HappyHourSue said...

All I can say is:

Diesel said...

Wow, how did I not know that you're a firefighter? Clearly I'm not paying attention.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

Flight of the Concords ROCKS!

Wait, you're a firefighter? I thought you were an ambulance person type thingy.

Shieldmaiden96 said...

I'm a Firefighter/EMT. 'Both sides of the street', as they say in my town. I see more action on the ambulance but I've run air tanks around and done overhaul on a few fires. I have that snazzy coat with my name on the back in yellow reflective letters. And a helmet. I always wanted a brother, now I have about 30 of them.

Guess I should write about that sometime. I just didn't want to be all 'look at ME!'.

Burgh Baby said...

I'm pretty sure if I broke both legs, I wouldn't be checking out motorcycle boots. Good for that guy for getting back on.